A Time to Rest

Have you ever heard of the importance of taking quality couple time each week? Of the benefit to the family when Mom takes time just for herself?
 
Though this advice from experienced parents is full of wisdom, it can be difficult to put it into practice. Either because new parents want to prove to themselves that they can do it alone, or because the family does not have a “village” to help educate their children. In both scenarios, it is the physical and mental exhaustion of the mother and the breakdown of the parent-child hierarchy that threaten the family’s balance.
 
I have lived in the Outaouais region for five years now, and most of the families I meet have settled in the region because of advantageous employment. They therefore find themselves without support from the extended family. Although there are many groups and activities for children during the weekdays, couples and mothers must be more creative to offer themselves these moments of respite essential to their physical and mental health.
 
Here, I’d like to present you with some ideas set up throughout my network during the last several months, which have already brought a breath of fresh air to the families involved.
 
First, to break the isolation experienced because of the pandemic, circles of women have formed in various places. On a more or less regular basis, a small group of mothers meet, in the evenings or on weekends, to discuss freely about anything and everything. Hours of uninterrupted discussion and sharing fill the hearts of those moms. During this time, the fathers take care of the children.
 
Another way some families use is to take turns giving each other a day off. For example, the children of family A go spend the day with family B, and vice versa another day. This exchange allows for moms to release their mental load with complete confidence with the additional bonus that there aren’t babysitting fees to pay.
 
When it comes to affording quality couple time while staying on a tight budget, some couples have date nights at home. They organize a dinner party in front of a movie for the children and take the opportunity to have a meal delivered and eat quietly in another room of the house. The main topics of discussion should be related to the couple and not to children and other logistical aspects of life.
 
It also happens that families exchange childcare for a few hours on weekends to allow a real outing for the couple.
 
When it comes to Mom’s alone time, the quickest and most effective way is to share responsibility for the kids with Dad. By establishing clearly what Mom needs, the rest of the family is better able to provide it. For example, it might be having at least two hours alone in the morning to pray, meditate, stretch, or write. To go for a walk after dinner to decompress from the day. To take a bubble bath while the kids are at the park with Dad. To go alone to the library or the museum and take all your time to browse and explore.
 
To sum up, it is not because the biological family is far away that there is no family nearby. Proverbs 27:10 say that a near neighbour is better than a distant relative. Which proves that those people we meet most often can easily become our family. All it takes is a little creativity and good will to get there.
 
With that, I wish you a restful and energizing summer!